Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
