Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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