he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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