3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
