I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
