i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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