You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
