I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
false alarm, still single
Randomize
