let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
