she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
