Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
