You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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