he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
