does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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