I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
