Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
