oh god the rape fog is back!
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
