If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
