I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
