what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
