i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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