Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
