i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
