I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
