I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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