my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
