Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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