she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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