From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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