No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
