Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
