i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
