I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
