plz talk dirty to me
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
