And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
