Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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