A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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