You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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