Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
