Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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