She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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