Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
