I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
