I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Did we literally take a cab across the street
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
