there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
