I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
