the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
