Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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