I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
