you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
