she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
